


Breathe

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Past Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 11:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20007544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: With his help she learns how to breathe again and gets the power back she lost in the alley that night."Restricted as she was from speaking, she wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to drag her hand across and pull her over. It didn't matter where. Her mouth, her neck, her cheek. Her skin was empty, waiting." - Markus Zusak, The Book Thief





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Rated M just to be on the safe side 🙏

They say you never really know what you have until it's gone, but she didn't really get it until she lost something she had taken for granted. Though technically she didn't _lose_ it.  
  
A month ago she was attacked, a month ago she was strangled with a rope so forcefully that it restricted her vocal cords. For a week, not even a sound left her. Now she could at least speak but it hurt, came out in a whisper, and was raspy. Her doctor had advised her not to speak, only if needed. Eventually she'd be able to talk again her doctor had said, but Ellie was never good at waiting and being patient when it came to her own progress.   
  
It was taking longer than normal for her to heal enough thanks to the nightmares. She'd be back deep in the darkened alley, body pressed against her back, rope around her neck only growing tighter the more she tried to fight, her body bending backwards as he _pulled and pulled_ , black spots and literal stars in her vision, heart racing in panic because _nothing_ she did loosened his hold, numbness spreading through her body. And then she'd wake up screaming, clawing at her throat struggling to draw in air that she could get if she just relaxed.   
  
Those first few days trying to heal at Gibbs' were hell until they figured out the only way she'd snap out of it and relax, was if Nick spoke to her.   
  
Jack had said it was because Nick had been the one to shoot her attacker, Nick had been the first voice she heard, he had been the one to tell her she was okay, and when the paramedics came she just needed to touch her throat to make sure it was gone but they wouldn't let her, too afraid she'd go into a panic if she felt any of the damage (not like she would have since her fingers were still numb), but Nick had made them back off and let her knowing what she needed. She remembered looking up at him with widened eyes as if she needed even more confirmation because he wouldn't lie to her, Nick had nodded and her body relaxed. Seconds later they rushed her to the ambulance on a board just in case there had been damage to her spine, later she'd learn that she wasn't getting in enough air, her bruised throat blocking her airway. It was just barely enough, but she hadn't even noticed since it was so much better than before when she wasn't getting any.   
  
Nick in those moments had meant safety, and she needed to feel that when waking from her nightmares. After that she moved from Gibbs' house to her own with Nick practically living there.   
  
_"You're okay Ellie, he's dead, he's gone. Come on Ellie just breathe, it's okay."_ He would say in her ear, hands carefully pulling her own away from her throat, holding them with his thumb running along her knuckles until she calmed.   
  
Before they knew it, they had slipped into a routine. Nick would get up early letting her sleep more, she'd wake up to the smell of breakfast he cooked, they would eat together then take turns in the bathroom to get ready for the day, Nick would head to work with sometimes her going along or she'd stay home and work on her art, getting so sucked into it she'd only come out of her trance when Nick came back, pressing a soft kiss to her head. He'd go with her to appointments, they'd go on walks when she craved the big gulps of air outside brought, and he gave her additional training he knew in case she was ever attacked from behind again.   
  
It was only natural that the feelings between them they had shoved back came back full force.  
  
And late one night as the moon filtered in through the windows with darkness settled along the rest of the apartment, they stood in the middle of her living room, space between them that she craved to close. Nothing had even been said between them, but something shifted in the air when Nick's eyes had looked at her with a look she couldn't place. Ellie's throat had been aching all day, and it aggravated her because she knew speaking wasn't in the cards for her, even though she wanted to so badly.  
  
Because..  
  
 _Restricted as she was from speaking, she wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to drag her hand across and pull her over. It didn't matter where. Her mouth, her neck, her cheek. Her skin was empty, waiting._  
  
Ellie knew she could make the first move, it could be her that dragged his hand across pulling him over, it could be her that kissed him, but she wanted to see the look in his eyes right before his lips leaned in to touch her skin. She wanted to see the lust and hunger burning in his eyes before finally claiming what he wanted.  
  
Then he did.   
  
He reached to grab her hand, pulling her over. Ellie went willingly without moving her eyes from his. A soft whisper of her name fell from his lips before he leaned in, the lust and hunger present making her shiver with her own, right before he kissed her neck only inches from where the thick bruised line had been so present. Ellie's heart raced, and she didn't even think as she tilted her head letting him know it was okay.   
  
Nick's body tensed right before he moved his lips over to it. Ellie settled a hand on the back of his neck lightly, and he settled as if it was some reassurance that she really was fine. He kissed along the line of her throat before going up, then his lips hovered over her own. Fire spread through her at his gaze. She never had anyone look at her with so much want, so much desire. Nick was a passionate human being, and at that moment all of it was directed at her.  
  
She stayed frozen, waiting, until his lips touched hers. That fire erupted into a blast.   
  
Ellie kissed him back with an intensity and force that obviously caught him off guard as he stumbled backwards, she used it to her advantage and kept directing him back until he hit the wall. A power surged through her, something she thought she'd lost when she felt so powerless in that alley, of having someone as strong as Nick pressed against a wall. It was a feeling she could get addicted to.   
  
Her hands slid under his shirt, fingernails lightly scraping along his muscled skin causing him to groan into her mouth. His hands gripped her ass tightly pressing their lower halves together, Ellie shivered in delight at feeling him against her even through their clothes.   
  
When Nick tried pulling away from the wall, probably not even realizing he was doing so, Ellie pressed the palm of her hands against him and shoved him back against it breaking the heated kiss. A curse fell from his lips. Ellie grinned and bit his lower lip right before grabbing his wrists, pinning them at his sides against the wall. If possible his eyes darkened more at the action. Control was what she needed, to gain the confidence in herself and power she had lost in that alley back. And Nick knew it, so he let her.   
  
She felt it grow back with every action.   
  
Dragging him to her bedroom. Yanking at his clothes roughly until he stripped for her. Shoving him onto the bed. Tying his wrists to the bed frame. Watching him pull on them and groaning helplessly when she teased. Hearing the pleas fall from his lips sounding so _desperate_ when she hovered over him instead of letting him inside her. Listening to the moans he made mixing with her own as he once again pulled at his restraints wanting so badly to touch her while she rode him, taking all the pleasure she wanted. Making him beg and plead when she shook her head indicating he wasn't _allowed_ to come yet. But the best moment was when she finally let him, the choked off cry that slipped out mixed with a moan when he finally let go, setting off her own release that had her whole body shaking.  
  
Ellie barely untied him before collapsing on top of him. His arms wrapped around her and they tried to catch their breaths, the sweat on their bodies becoming cold against the skin and the stickiness between them becoming gross. But neither of them cared.   
  
"Thank you." She said, barely audible and still slightly raspy, but she rested her chin on him and smiled more brightly then she had since that night.   
  
"Well it's not like I didn't get any enjoyment out of it." He said with a smirk, fingers drifting up and down her back.   
  
Ellie rolled her eyes but laughed lightly.   
  
"You know-" Amusement clear in his eyes. "-You're the only woman to ever tie me up."   
  
If her cheeks weren't already flushed, she knew her blush would be obvious. Nick threw his head back and laughed loudly, the sound made a happy warmth spread through her to her heart.   
  
Nick began to trace words on her back, and Ellie didn't have to see him do it to know what he was tracing. His movements and the look on his face said enough. Ellie grinned at him, pushing herself up a little to trace her own words along his chest. He watched intently, making sure he didn't miss a second of it.   
  
He rolled them over, looking down at her with a big goofy grin that had her giggling until his mouth crashed to hers, cutting her off.   
  
Their traced _I love you_ and _I love you too_ feeling as if they were marked onto their skin like a tattoo.   
  
Ellie had no nightmares that night.   
  
_She_ was in control, _she_ had the power, she _wasn't_ powerless any longer. She was Eleanor Raye Bishop..and once again she could _breathe_.   
  
(and in another two years she'd be Eleanor Raye Torres, wife to the man who helped her gain herself back, the man who helped her breathe)


End file.
